Fed Up

??9pm I'm so disgusted. I went out there. And still, every guy I meet looks like him. How am I suppose to get on with my life?? How can I forget when his dog and best friend are next door reminding me?? I don't want to think about him. He couldn't even talk to me until he was ready to give me excuses and not the truth. Then he ran away, very far away. Why can't I?? Why is my World falling apart and so shitty??

I've worked so hard to make my life what I want and now I'm stuck in this hell. I can't eat again. And once again, I can't stop the tears. Everyone looking at me with pity but no one coming to hold me and dry my tears and promising that I will make it through this and be ok. How can I keep living when I don't want to and there's no man brave enough to love me?? It's everything I have lived for, I'm 35, I'm sick and I just can not do this alone anymore