Hard #2

6am

I'm starting by reminding you that I'm an empath and psychic, that a majority of my thoughts and feelings are not mine. I feel people reading this and I feel the questions. So on that note....nothing exciting happened on my paper route until the end. On my way home, I hit red lights before the tunnel and was stuck in the tunnel behind the street sweeper (first time ever after 3 months of doing this). His flappers were from Texas and it was stamped all over the back of that truck. Every where I tell you....just can't get away from it.

So I've been feeling like I'm being punished because of all these bad things happening to me. I'm starting to believe that some of it is, I should have went to those guys and gave them a piece of my mind instead of hiding in my room and letting myself go crazy. I also believe though, that the good things in life are never easy. I also know that life hasn't been good for them either.

Why do I not care about the wife?? Well, we have mutual friends and they talk. I have known for three years that he's not happy with her. I've watched him become more and more depressed. I also know about all of the things he has done to wrong her and hurt himself. So it seems to me like she's not a good wife for him. One of the reasons I decided I wanted to help, it sure seems like he needs it.

And does he deserve me?? Probably not....but doesn't everyone deserve to be happy?? I know I want to be....I definitely believe that if you're happy with someone, you will be faithful, honest and you won't want to do drugs. And I know that I'm not happy about the way things have turned out. And I know that I didn't jump at my chance to be with him when I had it. And now, no matter how hard I try, I can't get away from the situation. So maybe it was meant to be?? Or maybe we are all just reaping our Karma before something great happens?? Either way, I can't wait for this madness to end.

P.S. Yes, I know they moved away. And as far as I know, they don't know anybody and they haven't gotten along for at least 3 years. No one can run away from their problems. Don't forget, I feel it when he thinks about me and have for over three months now. Plus, I dreamed about him coming back and being here with me before they even left and 95% of my dreams come true. And oh yea, the day they left, I was out running errands hoping to avoid the goodbye.....I saw them in town every where I went and felt a huge desire to stop and talk to him but obviously I didn't.

"Home" Phillip Phillips

"Stay" Rihanna