Tuesday's Gone - I like Metallica's version most

4:33pm

I woke up at 4:20 wanting to write. I believe 'dreams' are real. I believe that I only remember the ones that are important in this World. I believe that This World is not real. I believe anything is possible. I believe that I can leave this World whenever I sleep. Have you done my birth chart?? Every one of my planets in Virgo, in my 10th House of Public....they are in Reverse. Biggest thing that makes me psychic. I believe I am here from the future but I'm lost and can't remember who I am.

I do know that I have always been looking for some one and that I have always felt someone in black, on my right, talking to me and being there. I use to think I was crazy. It was just my imagination and my way of comforting my self. Maybe it was my evil side, my unconscious thoughts. I even took psychology classes, after giving up trying to understand birth charts....but I was forced to do My birth chart again, by My Devil and I Know now that I Have My Mind. And then one day, I actually started to hear the voice and the sound was familiar, some one I knew. I wish I could hear the words.

I also believe that I'm stuck in this moment. I try and try to leave but I keep waking up sad with some one on my mind. Some one I can't talk to or be with. I don't understand it, I'm here to be with some one who believes in me more than any one else and is My cheerleader. I don't think it's coincidence that a tornado touched down on one of the roads I deliver papers on, at the time it did and on the road it did. I don't think it's coincidence that that train came by when I had my daughter with me and that I haven't seen it any other time. I've even been watching the time and looking for it at 3:20 again but I haven't seen it yet.

On My Mind Ellie Goulding

I also want to talk about my books. I have a dream dictionary. I have been using it for at least ten years. I believe around the time I was seeing JM and wrote the poem, Living in the Moment (it's one of my first blog posts, I dated it 10/10/05 but I think that's when I typed it on the computer. I'm pretty sure that I wrote it a few days earlier and I know that I wrote it on a bench at Penn Tech in Williamsport, waiting for My Abnormal Psychology class to start, looking NE). I have copies of it in my poem book but it's all I have from the time I was with JM, I burned everything else in My Fireplace, even the one picture I had. Not long after I graduated, a few months after I wrote the poem, I switched careers again and went to school for hair. My best idea ever.

My daughter is wearing one of her fox pendants today. I want to mention that her birthday is 11.14.02 and she was definitely conceived 2.14.02, I kept track of when we had sex and it wasn't much at that point, I wasn't happy anymore. But I stayed with him and went to Texas anyway. My girl has been making videos with pet shops for awhile. Then she was with me to see the train.....I believe every thing happens for a reason. I believe she has been trying to tell me something. She refuses to tell me about her dreams. Most kids won't tell me their dreams, they just believe.

Dunkin finally called me....at 2:08 pm. I'm still trying to figure out why 8 is so important, other than it being my cousin's bday, May 8. And My Uncle's is 1.8.70 and he keeps telling me that I need a pistol. But there's only one kind of pistol I like and it doesn't hurt people, it brings pleasure. And why am I suddenly getting calls from unknown numbers?? One from LA and one from Springfield. I know why LA but the other one is not familiar to me, is it to you??

I mention the name book because I want to know if you remember my Earth twin?? Blaine is not in my name book but my real brother is. I'd love to know why you think that. I believe it's because Blaine believes, he knows and he just does. And everything is more in my eyes. He is my brother because he is a Capricorn like my real brother and he is just like my real brother. I don't think it's a coincidence that his name starts with and ends with BE (my #1 motto is BE U), he's blonde, he's smart, he just wants to do things and he Knows.

Drive By - Train