Sensitive

4:42pm

I hadn't slept much for almost a week but today I slept 8 hours. I was up exactly half way, to pee and get a drink. This tumor is annoying. It's hurting me more than I realized. I have to pee way too much and I don't think I would still be alive if I didn't smoke. I'm realizing more and more that my belly does act all weird. I think if I was sober, I wouldn't be able to eat. I'm sure some of you would say that I should quit and that it's bad. But I have anxiety and too much energy. I look like a crack head, I don't want to act like one too. The only reason it's bothering me is because I got use to it as it slowly grew inside me. But now it's just too big and I'm trying to stay skinny and healthy so it's a problem. I wish green were legal so I could quit smoking it. I need to quit cigarettes and get rid of this cough. Another reason I want to travel. I want to go where I can breathe and green is legal so I can cook with it.

This morning's paper route was boring. I hadn't had much sleep and was in a daze. I hope I didn't miss anyone because I was barely awake. I woke up at 4pm with "Hide Away" playing in my head and thinking that I'm right. About what exactly, I'm not sure but I was dreaming about writing an article and I was not around here anywhere.

I hope I do get to leave soon. It's getting cold and I want to go find people who understand and feel things the way I do. I see energy, I feel energy and I have a lot of emotions. I can't be the only one and I need to be around humans who get it. I can't stay here, this place is making me way too sad and I've had enough crying. I have no reason to be this sad