Mediums

6:01am

I was watching one of the mediums last night. It got me thinking about my biggest problem with relationships. First of all, it doesn't matter how shitty I make myself look and go out there, there is always some nasty asshole who has something gross to say. I was with my daughter one time, taking one of our cats to the vet.....in a carrier no less, when some jerk walking by said "Hey, nice pussy"!!!! And this was like five years ago!!! It's disgusting.

Second of all, My Devil loved talking to me about my mystical stuff. He couldn't get enough off the astrology, the name book, the birth charts and of course he wanted me to read his palms, quite a few times. And he definitely wanted me, he asked me to meet him in the bathroom way too many times. But the rest of me, all of me, I didn't exist the rest of the time. Once in awhile, he would ask for help with hair but the communication just wasn't there, he wasn't a good listener and I couldn't explain in a way he understood. We would argue and not talk for days. Ha

And there's my problem with asking for something and not getting it. Yes, I'm quilty, I'm very forgetful but if you remind me, I Will do it and I Will do it beyond your expectations. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting the same in return. My friend W says, as a guy, that they should be reminded often and maybe even yelled at some times. Well, I don't agree. I consider that being a nagging bitch and a huge turn off.

The two problems I have with Home Depot and Blaine. I never felt like Home Depot wanted to be here. I asked him to do a couple little things for me, a few times, but he always found something to do for his mom. And that really irritated me, I don't like momma's boys. Not saying he is but it came across that way and it hurt. It hurt more that I tried to talk to him about astrology and my mystical side but he didn't want to talk about it or believe. Which was too bad. I know that I met him to help him and his family. I definitely saw a very angry and mean spirit or two at his house. It scared me, I don't remember ever seeing spirits before and I could only see flashes, yelling at me. I think and hope that I banished them. I don't know what to do, I've never met anyone like me. I'm still friends with his daughter on Facebook and she definitely seems happier.

And now more problems with Blaine. He believes yes, but he doesn't want to talk about it. And....I have to bug him to get things done. Sure, if we were a thing, I bet he would do every thing and any thing. But I just can't make my self like him. I want to talk about this stuff. And watch medium shows together. Blaine saw me watching it last night and he took off. What if I am a medium also?? What if that's why I can read tarot cards and hear some one talking to me?? I can't wait to get this tumor out. I know that I will be a different woman and I have a feeling the whole World is going to change. I've accomplished many careers, I can do just about anything that doesn't hurt my thumbs (disabilities suck) and I'm the Universe's best mom, the Universe told me so.

Now it's time to accomplish my other two goals, go make as many people believe as I can and find my Twin Flame. Because he wants to know every thing about me just as much as I want to know every thing about him. Many people told me that I was crazy and looking for the impossible but what happens when I'm told some thing is impossible?? I go make it possible. And if some one so similiar to what I'm looking for, can find me, then I Know I have a Twin Flame out there who is exactly like I imagine. I Know we have been together before and that we already Know each other. There are over seven billion people out there, he is talking to me, just like I talk to him, he just doesn't know who I am. And maybe he doesn't believe either. So I'm going to make sure he sees me; it's a proven fact that when Twin Flames meet, they can't stay away from each other.

"Hide Away" Daya

7:50am

The music got me through all those thoughts. I was scanning a lot this morning, looking for music. I was happy to hear Def Leopard. The lyrics for that are perfect. Then "Blue Jeans", new to me for sure and those lyrics fit real nice, another song with James Dean in it. Another Bob Seger song that is actually on Spotify and it fits so perfect also. "3Am" fits and reminds me of seeing them in concert. I'm liking the new Selena Gomez. Of course, it fits so damn perfectly. And so do all the ones after. I'm not a big fan of "Stitches" but the words are just right. Damn...."Little Red Corvette" played before "Truckin", as I came through town, I had all red lights, go figure. And I didn't need anything. "Truckin" played up the hill and in the driveway. A real good one there.