Oh Shit

12:19am

I should have waited to write that last blog. I'm still thinking about it. And I'm finally pissed. Really pissed. Do those boys really think I'm happy alone?? They seriously believed the fake smiles?? Or thought that, at 35, I would want a sexually confused boy who needs a man to show him how to be a man?? Get real. I spent lots of time with W for like six months. He Knows how unhappy I am. And to let his friend fuck with my head. Seriously?!?! Who the fuck do they think they are?? What gives them the right to just brush a persons hopes and feelings to the side like it's nothing??

And for them to think I would still go hang out with them, much less look at their pathetic faces.

Oh yea. I'm extremely pissed. I've had enough. I still sit here alone, crying, wanting to die of the loneliness. They never realized that I showed up in their lives, after knowing them for three years and stuck around for a reason.

Oh no, they don't believe. They don't get it. And where are they right now?? Do they care?? Have they helped??

NOPE...not at all, they're still chasing money

To think that these idiots broke me down, made me hide on my own Mountain and are making me want to give up everything. My dreams, My house, My Life that I built here

FUCK THEM

12 days till my surgery. Two months and two days since I almost died and found out that I have a tumor. Two months and seven days since those boys ripped my heart out. OR maybe that's when they stomped on it. I did lose my heart ring eight days before that.

It's time for Karma. She's had enough and she's coming.

Remember, I'm the Truth and the Truth always brings Karma. She's my best friend and you hurt me like no other has. You fucked with My home and My heart

And so is some one to take care of me, remember, there are over 7 billion people in the World and I already found one twin. There's more. I'm not going to be alone anymore because Carol gets what Carol wants.

"Sober" TOOL & PINK