Monday

6:22pm

Well I'm messed up. I was woken up by a call from my surgeon. He wanted to know where I was. I knew it was the 26th, I knew it's three months till my bday and I knew my appointment was the 26th, sort of. I looked over at the paper on my night stand, yea, it says the 26th, no day. So when and how did I get it in my head that it was on Thursday?? Well thankfully I was able to go in, an hour and a half late. My surgeon is so cool. He is way more concerned about finding out how and why I broke my ribs than he is over this teratoma. He even made me go get more blood work, yuck, and he's a gynecologist, not a primary. So fucking cool this guy. He told me I was a mystery and maybe I "was fighting ghosts in my sleep"!!!

Shit you not, that is what he said.

I should have been recording him, my mouth dropped and I swear this guy is reading my mind. I told him that I felt like I had woken up that way cause I didn't hurt when I fell asleep. He said, "oh, ok" and went back to typing in the computer. He had left a voicemail when he called earlier, I was napping, and after my exam, I still can't figure out his accent. Maybe I will have someone listen and help me figure it out since I didn't have time to ask him or take anyone with me today. I still can't believe I fucked the day up, I wanted some one there. But I am so glad that my surgeon is so cool. Especially since I'm getting really scared. Of course we talked about the complications, what if it's attached to my uterus, my bladder.....and so on. My recovery depends on what they have to remove. I'm truely hoping that it's what it looks like, just on my ovary.

And yea, it doesn't help that I'm still alone. Facing this alone. I have to find someone to stay with me the night before, 7 days.

Prepping for surgery is not going to be fun. Not at all.

I have been lucky so far this Monday. I missed my appointments (I had to go meet my anesthesiologist after, so I was late for that too) but they were both able to fit me in. I was there late and my brother left work early so he ended up getting us pellets and unloading them before I even got home. So cool. Except that he had to point out my bald tires, thanks for jinxing me bro. I'm working on that tho and being careful till they are replaced.

Two is good for me. But every one says things happen in three's. I'm sure hoping there's a three. I'm not doing ok. This shit is crazy and freaking me out. And no, I'm actually not thinking about a guy for once, can you believe that?? After talking to my surgeon again today, it got me thinking. I really am looking for Superman but I'm stuck here on Earth, he's not here. He can't be, this World isn't ready for that shit, is it?? It sucks, we really need him and his friends.

7:56pm

I ordered a new phone yesterday. I received a text that it was shipped today :)

12:17am I just want to be clear that I'm not crazy. I use to fly in my dreams. I believe that I can make my dreams real. That's why I would like Boston to get out of my dreams.