Yes to music again <3

5:20am

I want to start off by adding on about one of my new friends. She was an acquaintance until yesterday. She reached out to me because she dreamed about me. How fucking cool. Exactly what I needed. Some one to talk to about dreams. Some one else who believes. Some one I can actually visit and talk face to face with about this shit.

I also would like to add that I have been wanting to write psychic Alex for help with losing Boston but I didn't know exactly what to ask. Until yesterday morning. I still haven't heard from him but I've felt his power and he sent me a new friend. I'm still excited to hear from him though.

Now I have more to add about the people who hurt me. They hurt me through my friend, making me cry and bawl for two days. Now I'm pissed. They hurt my friend and room mate. Yea, some one came to my house and fed him a bunch of lies. Why?? They made us fight for six hours and caused him to lock himself in the basement for like twenty hours, refusing to talk to anyone. So not fucking cool. What was the point?? Seriously. Why use my sickness to blame me for my heartache and say that I am nuts?? Really not cool. Mad about what I posted on Facebook?? I didn't say any names and not very many people know who I hang out with. You let your quilty conscience get to you and caused more drama over nothing.

And to have the balls to say that I can go visit Max and see how it goes. Really?? He's bad for you. You have little kids running around and a dog in heat. With all those distractions, you really think he will listen to me?? You have had dogs all your life, don't you know anything about them?? My house is quiet. The cats are kicked out, there are no little kids and there are no dogs in heat running around. He wouldn't be distracted and he would listen to me.

All my pets are fixed. The dog I brought home from Texas, she was cut open and had an infection on her lady parts. Yea, just like me. I saved that dogs life by being responsible and she's been with us for 13 years. I'm a responsible parent. I have one kid and I chose to have her. I've never had any accidents. I've been trying and trying to help you live the life I do but you make it so hard on yourselves by being jealous instead of paying attention and learning. Seriously, you've hurt me enough over the years, I've had enough.

Why is my life a nightmare because of Boston?? Well, I've been depressed many times in my life. But never so bad that I wanted to die. And ever since he touched me, I've thought about killing myself so many times it's not funny. What the fuck did he do to me?? Can anyone help me answer that one??

And yes, I listened to music for the first time on my paper route since surgery. Only the second time ever since surgery. And I loved it. An owl flew with me for awhile as I was going down my mountain. I saw lots of deer and raccoons. The best tho, was the deer in my yard when I got home. And of course all my kitties greeting me at the door to say hi because I'm the best mom in the Universe. Yes, I'm real. Yes, I'm a natural born witch. And now that I am healthy again, after at least two years, I'm about to make some real magic happen. Boston better watch out because nobody puts me down and refuses to believe that I helped them. Everyone else thanks me and pays it forward.