GDFR

5:45am

What a magical morning. I've been thinking about why it is that I want to delete some of this. Well some of my universe and the people in it want me to forget. But I won't, I can't. After finishing my paper route this morning, I stopped at Sunoco and decided to make a coffee. When I was done, I started walking up the aisle, guess who stopped me?? That's right, one of Boston's twins, who has the same exact real first name. The one who has the same exact first and last name of another one of their twins. One that some people have made me look at and is in jail at the moment. Yea, I knew there were two guys with the same name who looked similiar. I'm not crazy, I took this one's pic and I have friends who will confirm he is who I say. Funny, I know three guys with the same first name and they all look similiar and they are all kind. This one, stopped me and asked if I was okay, I'm not sure why, was I that high, tired and pale??

Anyway, I will pretend things didn't happen. And I will stay away for now. Every time Boston is around, I get pulled into their drama. Yea, I want a dog. Yea, I've been single almost four years. And yea, I'm defnitely lonely. But I'm not just anybody and I will not allow just any body in. I'm not picky, I know my worth and I chose to give up the good and go for the great. I want magic and it's out there. Two more examples (let's face it, three guys with same name, that's magical): (1) I was not surprised that not long after my last post yesterday, a girl on Facebook asked for help. Of course I reached out to her. I can help her with what she needs. She's a Taurus Sun, she acts the way I think and she has a good heart. Her initials are A.J., you know, like my fairies A and J. (2) The music. I let scan skip a bunch of good songs this morning and listened for the great. And I found some pretty awesome ones.

This morning's playlist:

I'm not a big country fan, I"ve mentioned that but that song, "Like A Wrecking Ball," when I hear that while scanning the radio, I stop it. I just love that one. This morning, it played across High Road. "Angel Eyes" played on S Road and Lucky Man Road. I love that song. It will always be J.S.'s and I's song. J moved here in high school. We've always been close and had a magical relationship. If his work allowed, he would have came to help me heal. But he's in Philly. It's too bad he has blue eyes and is gay. A couple years ago, J told me that I was his first friend here in Danville and I made him feel special and that I would always be special to him. It melted my heart. He is special to me also. He's a Taurus and he knows how to make me smile, laugh and feel special too. J and I danced to that song in Unida Pizza by the high school one afternoon playing pool before prom. Then I listened to John Tesh again, the second time he talked about stress being contagious this morning. I recorded both. he says that it helps to ask someone else how they are doing, it will tell you more about yourself than if you had made the conversation about you. He also claims, that your stress is 25% more contagious on your significant others than to strangers. So we should learn how to destress and keep others calm. I also want to note that I hate Christmas songs but John played Mariah Carey after that nice little bit of info. I love her voice and all I want for Christmas is someone to hold me and dream with me.

So yea, I will keep being a hermit. My tenth house of public is Virgo, the Hermit in the tarot. But I'm a Libra in the eleventh house, where and who I am with my friends, Libra the witch. I've dreamed about being hung, I've dreamed about drowning and I've dreamed about being burned....But I'm here, in the present. I've been on this mountain, in the middle of PA where it's almost impossible to find me. I've embraced who I am, I've grown and Boston found me. I may have bruises that showed up out of nowhere but I didn't die this time, I'm very real. My Taurus father, K.D. and my surgeon D.V. both saved me because they believed. I will proudly admit that I'm a witch, if that's what they want to believe. But time's have changed, I have evolved, the World has, the Universe has. I'm not here to overcome my addiction to humans, I'm here to learn how not to care about what they think of me and save those who do believe. I'm proud to admit that I'm much more than a witch.....I'm a Magician, I'm a Warrior, a Healer, a Savior and a Queen. And I don't care what they think, this is PA, this is my mountain, my life and I do what I want.