Fuck It

7:14am

I want to talk about the tent. It use to make me cry so much. It may as well have been in My yard. First I'm ignored for over two months, then I'm asked for pity, right after everyone sees and knows how upset, hurt and lonely I am; he throws it in my face just how low he's willing to go before ever looking at me. Wanted me to think I wasn't worth the risk and the fight but never even looked me in the eye or had a real conversation with me. No clue just how lucky he would have been if only he had taken a chance with me. Instead, he ripped my heart out, begged for pity and made me feel like I didn't exist. Now I laugh. I laugh at myself. How could I be so upset over some one who forces his family to live in a tent, next to the girl he wants to fuck, immediately after breaking her heart. I bet he was hoping she would show up in her bikini again, right??

I'm a fool. But at least I'm a good one. And he can go on thinking I'm nuts, I'm not. I'm lucky, he's a jealous idiot who wishes he had my life. I'm lucky because I have a heart of gold and I care about everyone. And I have a big, beautiful home that will be all mine forever. Being alone is really hard, nothing to be jealous about. I promise. I cry every day and fight to smile because I have NO ONE to talk to or hold my hand. But I've waited this long, it has to be worth it, right?? All the hell I've been through and all the assholes I've had to deal with. One day soon, some one will take one look at me and do whatever it takes to stay by my side. I will get the respect, appreciation and loyalty I deserve because I'm worth it and the lucky one will make me forget all the pain I've been through

My computer saved this pic as IMG_1477.....cool